I am freaking out! Please help me?

Be prepared to read for while...I have trust issues. My husband knows this, yet he continues to lie to me. To him they are "little lies". He found this girl on Facebook that he used to be friends with in high school. She lives in the state of Washington. He said she was like his sister and he swears they never fooled around or anything. But the same day he adds her to his friends list he changes his password... hmmm nothing fishy there, right? What he forgot is that I have his email password so I started checking his emails, didn't see anything really fishy (which he had the chance to do something with his weekly trips to Philedelphia) so I let it go for about a week. Then this past week Facebook decides to not work for me and I notice that I have sent not only her a friend request, but also another guy friend of his and two people on my mother's facebook! I was kinda like whatever no big deal but when I checked his email I saw that she had written him saying she was kinda creeped out because I sent her a friend request and that here and her husband trust each other and should she ignore or accept. I, in the meantime, sent all the people a note saying I was sorry for the accident and that my facebook wasn't working. She then sent him another message in which she copied and pasted my note and said she was sorry he is so unhappy and what an awesome catch he is. Later I asked him a "trap" question. I asked him if he had gotten any phone calls or message from the people I accidentally sent requests to and he said NO. I knew he had checked his email and I knew he was lying. When he got home from his trip I also saw that she had called him on that day ON TOP of the emails. They talked for about 12 minutes. Then (because by this time I've turned into crazy stalker wife) I looked at his computer history and saw that he had looked up the area code for her city... why would he do this?????? What would you need an area code for??????? I gave him my passwords, but when I asked him for his he wouldn't give them to me. It's gotten to the point that I can't say anything because he explodes and I know part of the reason is beacuse I caught him! I know he;s not sleeping with her because of the distance, but why is he keeping her separate from me? And why would he confide in her that he is not happy in our marriage??? My concern is that they will eventually start meeting in Philly and I will know nothing about it. HELP!I am freaking out! Please help me?
Any guy who is with someone doing what you're doing (the trust issues, the checking-up on things, etc.), is going to get tired of it, really fast. It's going to get old, really fast. He probably thinks of the other woman as "a breath of fresh air", because she's not riding his back for everything and checking-up on him, like you are. I understand you said you have trust issues, but it would also be helpful to hear HIS side of the story. If we could hear how HE feels, and what light he see you in, then maybe we could either agree or disagree with what he's doing. For all we know, he should've hooked-up with her a long time ago. Sorry, I'm not intending to be rude.
maybe you should talk to him more about it. or maybe do something thatll make you guys closer. just brainstorming lol well good luck.I am freaking out! Please help me?
Now, how many of your lady friends have you babbled to? Does your husband have any idea how paranoid you are ?

Connecting with a girl he knew in school surely brings him back to a more carefree happy time, when he didn't have to work all week and come home to a suspicious wife with too much time on her hands.



What you should be doing now is something to remind him why he picked YOU to marry, not snoop around in his private stuff. If he feels good to connect with an old friend then support him, and if he runs away he was never yours to begin with.
i have trust issues as well (been cheated on) but you really put some effort in your actions. its a bit crazy.

however, of course he wants to meet her and obviously is very attached to her.

when you catch a man in a lie, they turn around and get mad at you, walk out the house or stop talking to you.

you know there is something going on with this woman, why dont you stand up for yourself. you know he lied and keeps contact. what more do you need? he needs to decide what he wants, you or her.

add on: if he says that, he is really looking forward to be with this woman. he doesnt care if he lies, if you find out, he clearly said he is done....I am freaking out! Please help me?
you know what they say, when you go looking for trouble you find it!



you were suspicious of him in the beginning and now your mad because everything you thought is true? if you trusted him in the first place you wouldnt have to snooped in the first place. im sorry he might be cheating, but now you have to decide what to do with what you found.



good luck girl
ok yeah you are being too full on. Have some trust in your marrige. Has it occured to you that the reason he is angry with you is because you are snooping thru all his stuff? This would also be why he changed his passwords.



I think you have gone way to overboard here. Just let it be! If he is going to cheat, then he is going to cheat, you cant stop that anyway, but i doubt that he is. I think that he is just SO OVER you being so snoopy and being a 'stalker wife' as you put it.



Cant you see that you are pushing him away? You need to learn to trust! You should go to councelling (by yourself) to figure out your trust issues.



The poor guy, it must be horrible with his wife second guessing everything he does!...

And about the girl? I would be concerned if i was her also, my god woman its only a friend from school, and even if they did sleep together, WHO CARES? i have heaps of friends on my facebook of past loves and so does my husband, but we trust each other.



its all good lady, geesh!
ARE YOU SERIOUS???? If he is not saying anything is because you would make a huge drama out of it, let him be and relax, you are pushing him away, why he told her he is not happy,,, well hello!!! he is not happy!!! so you better put your act toghether and start making him happy, work on it instead trying to be Sherlock Holmes, everybody needs friends to talk.